The Wall

Anticipatory grief is being asked to say goodbye while still doing the dishes. The appointments stack up until life feels like a waiting room with snacks. I keep trying to memorize the voice before it changes again. People tell me to treasure the time left like I am not already wringing it out with both hands. I am grieving someone who is still here and somehow that makes me lonelier. There are moments they look right at me and I can feel the person I know flicker and go dim. Every small decline feels like an event nobody else heard. The appointments stack up until life feels like a waiting room with snacks. I am grieving someone who is still here and somehow that makes me lonelier. Every small decline feels like an event nobody else heard.