The part I was not ready for was how ordinary everything stayed. I still reach for my phone before I remember there is no one to send the stupid little update to. Sometimes grief looks like school pickup and pretending my face is not breaking in public. I am angry at every healthy person talking to me about efficiency. I was not prepared to become the only adult who remembers how the whole family machine worked. I still reach for my phone before I remember there is no one to send the stupid little update to.
For the life we built