The Wall

I think part of me expected grief to eventually present some kind of clean philosophical answer. Like if I suffered hard enough or thought deeply enough or read enough or talked to enough smart people, I would arrive at a worldview sturdy enough to hold this. Hasn’t happened. I’ve heard every framework: God has a plan. God exists but doesn’t intervene. We’re energy returning to the system. The lights go out and that’s it. Make meaning. Accept fate. Live in the now. Cool. None of them put my wife back in the room.