There are moments when I can feel how much this changed my relationship with reality itself. Not just with death. With reality. I no longer trust ordinary life in the same way. I no longer assume safety because things look fine. I no longer hear optimism as neutral. Somewhere in me there is now a permanent awareness that the floor can disappear while you’re still standing on it. That awareness is not all bad. It sharpens some things. Clarifies bullshit faster. Makes me value certain moments more. It also means innocence is gone.
The Wall
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