Anticipatory grief is being asked to say goodbye while still doing the dishes. There are moments they look right at me and I can feel the person I know flicker and go dim. The appointments stack up until life feels like a waiting room with snacks. I am grieving someone who is still here and somehow that makes me lonelier. Every small decline feels like an event nobody else heard. I keep trying to memorize the voice before it changes again. There are moments they look right at me and I can feel the person I know flicker and go dim.
For what is leaving in slow motion