No one died, but the future I lived inside did. People want blame because blame is tidier than grief. I am grieving a family shape even on the days I know leaving was right. There are nights I am relieved and devastated in alternating minutes. The handoff parking lot holds more fury than any courtroom speech could. I miss someone I am also angry at and that is exhausting. The house sounds like a place pretending to be neutral. People want blame because blame is tidier than grief.
For the version of me before court