Anticipatory grief is being asked to say goodbye while still doing the dishes. There are moments they look right at me and I can feel the person I know flicker and go dim. People tell me to treasure the time left like I am not already wringing it out with both hands. I am grieving someone who is still here and somehow that makes me lonelier. Every small decline feels like an event nobody else heard. I am already tired from the grief that has not officially happened yet.
The Wall
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