Relapse grief is hope learning to walk with a limp. There are versions of them in my head that never got to finish growing up. The phone used to make my stomach drop before it ever brought actual news. You can love someone so hard and still not be able to keep them on shore. The shame around this kind of loss lands on the living like ash. There are versions of them in my head that never got to finish growing up.
For the one I kept hoping would come back