The part I was not ready for was how ordinary everything stayed. I still reach for my phone before I remember there is no one to send the stupid little update to. I hate how much of love becomes passwords after death. The kids ask normal questions in voices that make my ribs hurt. I miss being the second person in a private language. I am angry at every healthy person talking to me about efficiency. I was not prepared to become the only adult who remembers how the whole family machine worked. I do not need perspective. I need reversal.
The Wall
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