Overdose fallout comes with too many spectators trying to make meaning out of your ruin. The phone used to make my stomach drop before it ever brought actual news. I am grieving the years that got fed to something hungry and stupid and bigger than us. There are versions of them in my head that never got to finish growing up. People treat this kind of grief like it needs a moral at the end and I hate that. You can love someone so hard and still not be able to keep them on shore. The shame around this kind of loss lands on the living like ash. You can love someone so hard and still not be able to keep them on shore.
For the one I kept hoping would come back